Land of the Free, Home of the Brave

Reflecting on Lincoln's presidency and the tumultuous times he served, I am reminded of our own brave soldiers who have fought for freedom. The picture that I have chosen to include is of PFC Danny Kimme, son of Champaign police officer, Doug Kimme. He was killed in the line of duty almost four years ago to this date. I took this picture of his sketching at the Illinois State Fair in 2010. An artist made sketches of all the soldiers who had fallen in the line of duty and the display surrounded four walls of the tent. It was a solemn and awesome tribute to the bravery exemplified by the soldiers.

It is isn't just those who go to war who are brave. We just have to look within our own lives to find it. We are surrounded by everyday people who show bravery all the time! "Brave" doesn't have to mean just one thing. It's anyone facing a challenge head on. Of course, those who put their lives on the line for us each day, as in our police officers and fire fighters, are the logical persons, but look around. Look at the baby who is taking his/her first steps. Look at the child who starts preschool or day care for the first time. Look at those who begin new treatments for diseases. Look at the wives, husbands, and families of those who go into battle or who protect us daily. Look at those making choices for others that may or may not be popular. Look at anyone making a choice that will affect their life's path. I could go on and on....All of these things take courage. Who in your life exemplifies courage? Maybe it's you! We have to be brave and trust that the choices we make will be the best ones for us.

After spending more time learning how officers train to keep us protected, it brings gratitude to my heart. PFC Danny Kimme did not have a chance to return. But many solders have and are using their skills now to keep the citizens of our communities safe. Even without going to war, we all can find someone that has shown bravery in this world we call "life". Acknowledge them! Give them kudos! Most importantly, pay it back.

Where's the line?

What does it mean to call someone a friend? Where do you have to draw the line from personal to business? These questions are important to consider when I think of my friendships. As a person, am I being congruent between my real friendships and those actions I take because of professional duties? There can be a disconnect there.

That's the struggle sometimes. I have had to make some difficult decisions that have brought serious consequences. I have had to trust others' confidences to me that they are also doing right. In this world today, it is hard to tell, but my gut has to lead me. I am grateful to those who share their trust with me and from that have formed meaningful friendships. Even though we move through the struggle, if we are moving for the right reasons, it will be worth it.

My nature is to be a supporter. I think we all want to be positive and see the world through rose-colored glasses. Unfortunately, life gets in the way! I have learned that I have had to choose where to place my support. It has to be where I think it's right. Sometimes, others disagree with me. That's ok. What a dull world this would be if we all agreed on everything. I wouldn't ever learn anything!

My core values will never change, especially the Golden Rule..."Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I want to treat people the way that I expect to be treated.... with honesty. If someone betrays that trust, then our friendship is changed.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that there isn't always a line. Life cannot be black and white. Like the waves in the sand, the line is always changing, but the water's wet and sometimes brings stuff with it. Life moves forward, but it's not always predictable. We have to have some grey areas to maneuver, but within that maneuvering you have to keep your core values of being one who can be trusted, loyal, and honest. It's your reputation. Guard it and make sure that it is the reputation you want to follow you. You have to keep your friends' backs too. Without that what's the point of being a friend?

Keep open to listening to different opinions and supporting what you feel best matches your own. Without them the world would be a dull place!

Others inspire me...

Walking seems to prompt me to write! With the unusually warm weather for January, it was great to be out walking without freezing! Happy New Year!

Just a short thought came to mind...I was wondering how I get through some of the tough decisions that I have to make. It came to me that it's because of the people that surround me. People who do not shy away from hard decisions themselves. People who make sacrifices for others. People who show strength in the face of adversity. People who have taken risks when it is easier to remain quiet. People who have shown me how to wear the teflon that is sometimes needed.

To these people I say, "Thanks!" That's not enough, I know. But I hope that the way I lead my life will show you.

2011 Reflection

Wow! I have really been busy these last two months and I had better get one last blog in before 2011 ends!

I've been reflecting about this year, 2011. What a year it has been! I am all about relationships and this year has been amazing for them for me! My profession as a teacher has always limited the scope of relationship-building and was very hard to continue relationships past the school year, with one or two exceptions. But relationships that I have formed while on Council tend to last. 2011 has really introduced me to people that I never would have met and it is so exciting! Just when people my age are beginning to wind their careers down, I am looking forward to the future and the promise of newness. What is lying ahead? I could never have predicted the outcomes of this year!

Not only have I made new friendships, but many from before have grown. Situations change and with those changes come new perspectives. When friends count on each other and have a trusting shoulder to lean on, the connection is stronger. I feel so fortunate to have those connections. As changes happen, I hope that I will accept change and move forward. Sometimes that's hard for me, but I won't digress....

This blog is about the relationship-building of 2011. I learn something or glean something from everyone I meet. It is the human psyche phenomenon where the chemistry between people causes that chemical reaction we call friendship. I cannot live without it. When it is mutually valued then everything should be done to keep it alive. In this day and age of technology, when physical presence isn't always possible, then a tweet, facebook message, or text can often keep friends in touch. Many times, just a simple text or tweet has put a smile on my face. Those can tide the connection over until the face-to-face happens.

2012 will be a year of continuing to cultivate relationships! Who wants lunch?!!!

Not once, but twice...

In the priest's message yesterday I heard two things. Usually, the message isn't that riveting, but yesterday's spoke about friends in a way that made me take notice. The first was when he said that we don't know why, but some friends just by being there and listening make a difference. Just by their willingness to listen unconditionally, our hearts are lightened. That phenomenon always puzzled me. How is it that just someone's presence without even speaking makes a difference? Human emotions have so many mysteries... But to have those connections in your life is something to treasure because they are rare.

Second, sometimes we have that one person who sees something in us that we don't see in ourselves. With their encouragement we pursue something that we might not have otherwise. This is exactly what happened with me. Teaching has always been my passion because it came naturally to me. I love it! Being encouraged to go into politics was new. Never thought about it until someone suggested it and encouraged me. As it turns out, they were right! Their encouragement and friendship to this day has been something that I have cherished. So I am extremely grateful for that friend.

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.
- Havelock Ellis

Nothing Like Friends!

It's close to birthday time, and as I was walking today, I was thinking of what an awesome year this has been! I've met challenges and feel stronger for them now. Some are still on my plate and new ones are on the horizon. But most of all, my relationships with my friends has been strengthened. Meeting new people who have instantly become friends, growing the bonds with already friends, and deepening bonds with the closest friends has made me grateful for each and every one!

As the picture illustrates, sometimes there's that one friend (or two) who stands out in a sea of friends. Being that friend is an awesome responsibility. It takes a special relationship to build that bond. It's one of trust and time. It doesn't happen overnight. It's cultivated. It takes two to make that happen. But as time goes by and it gets tested and survives, then you know that you have something special with that person.

Here's to all of my friends, and to those out there who will be! Cheers!

Serendipity X 2

Over the last week, I have had experiences that have just come out of the blue and been soooo cool! I call them my Serendipity moments. It's when life happens when you least expect it and it has an impact on you! The first really awesome one happened last Saturday at the Summer Youth Development Program ceremony. I saw a name on the poster board assignment that one of the students had made. I knew that it could only be the daughter of my third grade student. And it was! My student was even there! I had reconnected with her a few years ago after 25 or so years. Life had not always been kind to her, but she is on the right path now. Two of her children had completed the program successfully and it was wonderful to see the impact that program had on their family.

Tonight I had another blast from the past! Through my Lincoln Series organization I met a woman from Alton. My mother was born and grew up there. I was trying to find out if she may know any of my cousins, but I have lost contact with them and didn't have married names. So we struck out in that regard. But I did remember that name of the street where my grandmother lived. It was only about eight houses long and was on a hill. (Almost everywhere in Alton is on a hill!) Well, her aunt and uncle live on that street and have for years! They probably knew my grandma! I was so excited to talk with her about the house and that street. My grandma died in '69, so it has been awhile since I visited there.

The house was very poor. When I was little it had a dirt floor in the lower floor, so they could bring in the coal. The bathroom only had a toilet and a shower head, so you could sit and take a shower at the same time. There was only one real bedroom and the kitchen was on the lower floor too. But my mom's family grew up there, all five kids and Grandma. It was so different from our own house, but I loved to visit. Grandma always made us feel like royalty and fixed chicken and noodles, which were the best!

Just meeting someone who knows that house made me feel an instant connection to her. It brought back all the wonderful memories of my childhood down at Grandma's house. Like the old cliche says, she may have been poor, but she was rich in love. I could feel it!

It was definitely "a small world" moment tonight!